A major theme in this book was the discovery of the characters’ “true” selves when contrasted with the versions of themselves they choose to show the world. Jane Neal, the victim, had a passion for painting that she never showed anyone. Phillippe Croft was introduced as a gay bashing teen but was actually gay and struggling with his identity. Yolande Fontaine literally wore lots of make-up and used hideous wallpaper to cover up the parts of her life she didn’t like. All this revealing of “true” selves made me consider the many things both good and bad that can be considered part of my “true” self that I am hiding. Should I be more open and share more with the world?
The book gives many examples of both positive and negative consequences when divulging closely held secrets. The worst being the victim who was murdered the very next day after showing someone she is an artist. I am not really worried someone is going to murder me over my reveling I learned how to code in React Native during the pandemic. But, I am very worried that by sharing more of what I am doing and thinking about, I will come off as self-absorbed and braggy.
Until now, my general rule of thumb has been: if someone hasn’t already found out about one of my accomplishments, then the accomplishment I am about to tell them isn’t noteworthy enough to share. After all, there are many funny memes about dudes forcing their golf or fishing stories on unexpecting work colleagues. I think this rule is a good one and I am going to stick with it.
A number of years ago my wife gave birth to a still born baby girl named Cora. This was crushing. My thoughts if left unchecked returned over and over to a very dark place. My solution was to listen to an audio book every second my mind was free to wonder. The simple act of focusing on the author’s ideas would mute my destructive thoughts and transport me to the world of the author’s creation. Now, with three wonderful healthy children and having listened to thousands of books, I am starting to unmute my thoughts and am using this blog as a way to share them with the world.
So, what is the difference between bragging about my running splits on this morning’s run and writing down my thoughts while reading books?
I can say confidently that I am the only person who cares about this morning’s run. It is my hope that you also have had your own thoughts while reading these books and might find it interesting to see how those thoughts differ from others’. Maybe, sharing will start a conversation and help show us where we are wrong, right, and plain ignorant. That is, only if you do your part. Please, please, please comment below and share this with your friends.
MOST IMPORTANTLY
If I inadvertently incriminate you for murdering you mom somewhere in these blog posts, please just anonymously ask me to take it down and I will honor your request and edit it out. Murdering me will not solve your problems:)
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